Category Archives: Communication

From my associate, Grant Tate.

I thought this little passage from my upcoming book, Hand on the Shoulder, might be important to consider in these times.

Defining oneself is a lifetime quest. “Who am I?” does not have one answer, but has a different, evolving answer each day as one learns and develops. Sometimes that evolution is slow, other times, rapid. The slowest are the times when we are drifting, visionless. The rapid are the times when we are exploring, turning every encounter into a learning experience. Ultimately, finding oneself requires deep relationships with others, talking, sharing, having substantive discussions, and learning together.

Every day brings new experiences, new exposures, each of which can be a turning point, depending on the kind of decisions we make at each intersection. Those decisions may seem unimportant at the time but might have a profound impact on ourselves and the people around us. Each person makes thousands of decisions every day, most are small automatic choices. Choosing what socks to wear is unlikely to change a person’s life, but other decisions could put us on a significantly different path. Learning to tell the difference is an important skill.

We can learn to recognize decisions to accept or reject a new opportunity as important turning points, but other incidents may not be so clear. Meeting a stranger in an airport or a hotel, for instance. Random events open new doors, shedding new light on a person’s direction. Every new experience or encounter contains the possibility for growth and learning. Attitude is important. Do we recognize new encounters as opportunities or threats? Do we face them with fear or enthusiasm? A “possibilities” attitude leads to growth.

I think of December as a time of reflection and renewal.

It’s a time to Reflect on this past year across its many dimensions. It’s an opportunity to celebrate all the good stuff that happened. And think about ways to make the not-so-good stuff better. And it’s also a moment in time to Renew my sense of direction and purpose in pursuing my significant priorities in life.

When I Reflect on the year, many questions come to mind.

Am I clear about my significant priorities in life: work, relationships, and activities?

Am I able to discern the difference between “what is” and “what I want it to be”?

Am I seeing through the “what is” lens as I evaluate accomplishments and challenges this past year?

Do I fully recognize and am I grateful for the incredible good fortunes and blessings in my life?

Do I understand the state of my professional and personal relationships? Am I focusing on the significant ones that matter?

Renewal causes me to ask:

What skills, abilities, relationships, emotions, and perspectives do I need to bring with me to the New Year? Conversely, what do I need to leave behind?

Which of these am I able to carry forward and leave behind?

Which of these am I struggling to leave behind and carry forward?

What do I need to adjust, accept, or rethink?

I remind myself frequently we make life more challenging than it needs to be. We instinctively know the difference between right and wrong. Mostly, we know when things are going well and when they are not.

I remind myself daily that we can’t do it all. BUT, we can do something. So, putting aside fear, angst, and uncertainty, there is at least one thing you can do next year to make a positive difference.

What will that be for you?

Yes, 2020 was a lost year for many of us, a time warp, a wrinkle in time, a year of lost friends and family members, a time when change rushed at us like a cold north wind, a time that challenged hope, a time that rocked our stability. But was it a lost year?

Many children lost a year of learning because of poor planning, lack of support, lack of technology, lack of socialization, and disorganization. Many people lost a year of work due to layoffs, failed businesses, and poor economic conditions.

But others thrived. Students in systems with good technology, competent teachers, and administrators adapted to the challenging situation and learned, not just the subject matter, but new ways of communicating and working together. Similarly, organizations and workers faced challenges and developed new ways of working together and meeting new goals. Ask these people if it was a lost year, and we’d hear stories of innovation and new ideas.

Time warps bring new opportunities. Innovation thrives. Old ways are challenged. Some leaders step up. Others fade away. What determined the difference? Many things, but surely attitude was one factor in whether the year was “lost” or “newly found.”

Good leaders search for opportunities in the midst of chaos. Through experimentation they test new paths, learning as they go. They convert uncertainty into a direction. They point the way through the fog.

A time warp, yes. A lost year, no.

Authored by Bill Kille.

When I say wrinkles, I mean the literary version of the word, i.e., a clever or novel idea or device. Over the years, there have been a few wrinkles that gave me pause and have stuck with me.

One wrinkle that has guided my sales efforts was one I learned early on from my manager, who said to me, “You’re not getting enough no’s.” A distinct furrow appeared on my brow. He elaborated and shared that he had attended a training seminar by H. Ross Perot, who shared a secret to his sales success. Perot said, “I define the word no as a long-term indication of interest.”

Often noonly means not now or not yet. By leveraging the no’s, following up, and staying in touch, closing ratios improve. This insight may not be apparent to most salespeople.

Last week, while listening to a video featuring Dewitt Jones titled Change Your Lens, Change Your Life, another exciting wrinkle made me take note. DeWitt was recounting his first meeting with his boss and new employer at National Geographic. During this meeting, the boss told an anxious DeWitt, “DeWitt, relax. You don’t have to prove yourself here. All I want you to do every day, on every assignment, is to go out and improve yourself.” A simple but powerful wrinkle.

My first encounter with DeWitt Jones was many years ago. In one of my favorite videos, Celebrate What’s Right with the World, he shared, “Don’t strive to become the best in the world….strive to become the best for the world!

These are a few of the “wrinkles” that have guided me personally and professionally. Perhaps they will have the same profound impact on you.